When you’re feeling annoyed and negative about your differences with someone, it always seems to come as a surprise when the right words said in the right way and in the right setting can immediately set it all free. Effortlessly. At no cost.
All people want is to be loved and understood
“I disagreed with you because actually, I was scared of what might happen if we went ahead.”
“I understand how you feel, and you’ve got a right to feel that way – I was just looking at the situation differently. You see I’ve had trouble with an issue like this in the past and it makes me nervous.”
The process of aligning ourselves with others isn’t always so directly emotional. But we are human and regardless how hard we might try not to, we have feelings. And we hold those back – why? Because it’s not professional? Because it’s dangerous to get into conversations about feelings? Because we don’t know how to handle things otherwise?
Have faith! It’s well worth going out of your comfort zone to open up and find the common ground, and you’ll often get results that are immediate and effortless.
- Hearing the views of others is quick and easy when we are respectful and open, even when there is baggage in the relationship
- Seeing things in different ways is effortless, when new inputs are shared in the right way, no matter how long previous views have been held.
Truly sharing takes respect, openness, compassion and curiosity
People who are not aligned can feel confused, powerless, unsafe, numb, angry, frustrated, unheard, and flat. People who are aligned can feel more excited, prepared, hopeful, connected, inspired, useful, and wanted.
Good old dialogue. Is there anything else that makes so much difference for such little time and effort?